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By the time this post goes up, I will have done something I’ve spent weeks agonizing over, worrying about, and going over every possible detail. This “something” is applying to the university that I absolutely love. It has the program that I want, an award winning newspaper I can work on (and hopefully become the editor of) and amazing courses, seminars, and guest lectures I can participate in. It’s close enough to home to visit every weekend, but far enough away for me to be fully on my own. It’s a city more than 10 times bigger than the one I grew up in, and still currently live in, which obviously means substantially more opportunities for jobs, internships, etc.
I’ve wanted to go there for a long time. I feel like it’s the right place for me, and I’m so excited for the possibility of going there. If only all of the important people in my life would get behind me. My mom is, 100%. She’s incredibly supportive and just wants me to be happy. My dad on the other hand…. He has good intentions, but I feel like he’s never really heard me out. I brought up the subject with him back in December, and his opinion is that I should stay at the local college here to get my degree. His reasons are that I can live at home, and it’s cheaper. Those are obviously good reasons, but the school doesn’t have the program I want, and there’s no school newspaper, which is a pretty big downside, considering my aspirations. I want to be a writer, and experience is paramount. Without it, getting internships, and eventually a job, will be that much harder.
The discussion we were having quickly became an argument, in the middle of Arby’s no less (classy, I know), and we got nowhere. He all but said that I can’t count on his help, financial or otherwise, if I don’t stay here. In all honesty, I wasn’t counting on it at all, so it doesn’t bother me. It’s just frustrating that he can’t get behind me, but it makes me all the more thankful for my mom. If it weren’t for her, I would be doubting myself, maybe even to the point of giving up what I want.
This is the time for me to make my own decisions, and I know I would regret it if I let him convince me otherwise. So, I’ll be waiting on pins and needles until I hear about my admission. Now I just need to decide whether I tell my dad about it now, or wait until I (hopefully) get in, because I’d hate to argue over it, and then be rejected. Wish me luck!
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