The Forever Fat Girl?

5 02 2010

[picapp align=”left” wrap=”false” link=”term=scale&iid=194294″ src=”0190/a42eee14-18ac-43e7-af52-4b29706ac3e5.jpg?adImageId=9925881&imageId=194294″ width=”380″ height=”253″ /]

As anyone who has been overweight knows, the world is a scary place. A look, a laugh, or a whisper can be all it takes to ruin your day. I haven’t been “skinny” since I was a child, and I’ve spent the last 9 years or so trying to lose weight. In the last year I managed to lose 35lbs, but over the last couple of months 5-10lbs of it has crept back on. I can blame it on the holidays, or the stress of finals, or life in general, but no matter the reason, it has to stop.

When I started losing weight my perception of myself completely changed. I was happier, less anxious, and just generally more comfortable. I had acquired a lot of good habits like healthy eating and exercise, but they seem to have fallen away. It’s time to get back to it.

I hate being the fat girl. I hate anxiously scanning a room upon entering it, hoping to see someone larger than me. I hate feeling like crap in my clothes.

I have a lot of worries about what will happen once I reach my ideal weight. I worry that I will still feel like the fat girl, that I won’t be any more confident, that the world won’t suddenly be sunshine and rainbows. But I’ll never know unless I find out. I’ll write a more detailed post about all of this later, including my plans and goals, and (eek!) my stats, but I just wanted to get this out now.

*Image via PicApp




One response

5 02 2010

I really liked the comment you left on questionsfordessert. I think you are off to a great start on your blog. I will look forward to see what you are writing.


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